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Destination Brides Maids

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Destination bridesmaids, do I need them?  The answer is no, most wedding destinations require only witnesses and they will provide them for you.

Many brides can't exclude family and friends and want to have bridesmaids at their wedding.  This will take some planning on your part BEFORE you invite them to be a part of the ceremony.

Destination bridesmaids will have expenses involved that aren't a part of a traditional wedding.  Traveling and lodging will account for a large part of their expenses.  They will probably have to take time off work to travel.  They'll have to plan in advance as you do.  

They will have to pay for their travel, lodging, food, wedding attire, wedding gift, shower gift and incidentals.  And what about hair and makeup?

Do your homework before you ask them to be a part of the ceremony.  Find out what it will cost for them and present it to them when you ask them to be a bridesmaid.  Remember, you are asking them to be a part of the wedding, not requiring them to be in it.  Ask them to take time to consider and ask them far in advance so they have time to save for the wedding expenses. 

If expenses are a problem for them, give them the the opportunity to opt out gracefully.  Be honest with them, and accept their refusal graciously if they decline.  Not everyone can afford to take time off work and still pay their bills.

Some brides are willing to pick up some of the maid's expenses.  This is not a requirement, but it is a nice way to thank them for being a part of your special day.  Can you pay for their airline ticket?  Hotel room? Can you get them a steep discount on a hotel room?  If you rent a condo for the wedding, do you have a place for them to sleep for free?  Can they wear something in their closet from another wedding or a cute sundress?  Or will you want your maids to have coordinated bridesmaid dresses?  Can you shop for maids dresses on Ebay? Bridesmaids Dresses on Ebay

Consider all options before you ask them so they have alternatives to think about.   Don't pressure them for a  quick answer.  Don't demand they attend.  Be gracious and be honest.  Tell her (and mean it) that you understand if they can't attend.   Your prospective maid will probably feel bad about declining.  Consider their feelings and know that she probably feels worse about it than you do.

If your maid answers a resounding "YES!" remember that this is your wedding , not hers, and she is doing you a big favor standing up for you.  Plan some down time for her.  If you are at the beach, allow her some beach and pool time or take her to lunch and pay for it.  Its a mini vacation for her and she should enjoy herself in addition to helping you with her wedding duties. 

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